Let’s talk about kindness. What does it cost you? Nothing, really. Yet, it seems to be a rare commodity these days, especially in the online world where anonymity emboldens people to be Internet trolls. Do we really need to ask ourselves—does it bring you happiness to tear someone else down? Would you be okay if the roles were reversed and someone was breaking you down?
A few months ago, my daughter, Fathima Zahra, came home from school in tears. She told me that some “friends” had been unkind to her, throwing cruel words her way that left her feeling broken. As a mother, my heart shattered. My first instinct was to wrap her in my arms and say, “Baby, those are not your friends. Only people who are unhappy in their own lives treat others with unkindness.”
It didn’t end there. I happened to bump into the girl responsible at a school function not long after, and I couldn’t resist telling her the same thing I’d told my daughter, in a gentle but firm tone: Unkind people are often the most unhappy. I didn’t reveal that I knew it was her who had hurt my baby, but the message landed where it needed to. The bullying stopped.
Fast forward to the last few weeks… Many of you who have followed my journey know that I’ve never hidden the fact that I live with depressive bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder. And while these diagnoses have shaped parts of my life, they don’t define me. I’ve spent years in therapy, working on myself, and I live a full, rich life. If you were to ask anyone close to me, they would tell you that I have a heart of gold, even if I’m known for having a big mouth! But despite my strong exterior, I care deeply for others. Maybe too much at times.
Recently, I lost two people on the same day. Both of them died in motorcycle accidents. It was a heart-wrenching moment for me because it brought back the traumatic memories of losing my brother in a bike accident. It felt like my world came crashing down all over again. The grief was raw, the pain real.
And then, as I was reeling from this loss, someone decided it was the perfect time to come for me. “Get over it,” they said, “It’s been three years.” Their words cut deep. But they didn’t stop there. They dissected my life, ridiculing me for being open about my experiences with mental illness. “You’re just looking for attention,” they said. “You chose to be in the public eye, so deal with it.” But here’s the thing—I don’t share everything. In fact, I’m a very private person. What I share are snippets, moments that I hope others can learn from or find comfort in.
To the person who dared to say I bring bad luck into my own life because I “overshare,” to the one who used my mental illness as a weapon against me—shame on you. I’ve done you no harm. I’ve never brought my struggles to your doorstep. How dare you belittle the very real challenges I face and turn them into your amusement or justification for cruelty?
But I won’t dwell on the hurt you caused. Instead, I want to reflect on something deeper—kindness. I can’t say this enough: Be kind. Just be kind. We live in a world where people are already hurting, struggling beneath the weight of their own battles. Words can be daggers. They can leave scars far deeper than you’ll ever see.
To anyone reading this who has been on the receiving end of unkindness, know that you’re not alone. And to those who feel the urge to lash out—ask yourself, why? What do you gain from causing pain? If anything, I hope that whatever has made you so miserable inside that you feel the need to hurt others heals in time. Because that’s not what being human is about.
We are meant to lift each other up, not tear each other down. The world needs more kindness. You never know what someone else is going through behind their smile or social media post.
So again, I plead: Be kind. Because, trust me, kindness can be the very thing that saves someone—more than you’ll ever know.